Smile, Even Though Your Heart Is Aching

I spent all of yesterday trying to leave Vegas with a friend since we were flying stand by and ended up in Cleveland for the night. We made it into Houston at 8 a.m. today, and I spent my afternoon taking my Iranian grandparents to the doctor's office.

I am heartbroken.

I love them. They tell me how wonderful I am and how I am such a good girl, and I am forced to lie to them. While we were in the waiting room, one of Charlie Sheen's shenanigans made it onto the TV. He waltzed up to Jimmy Kimmel and planted a wet kiss on his lips, and I watched my grandmother make the most disgusted face I have ever seen. She talked about how horrible it was for a man to kiss another man. I cried in the parking lot when I went to go bring the car around.

I am gay and I am terrified that my grandparents will find out.

My Catholic Filipino grandma does not understand why I have yet to be baptized, and my Muslim Iranian grandparents are hoping that I find a nice Persian man to settle down with. How could my amazing parents come from such close-minded people? Mama, Baba, my siblings and cousins support me in everything I do, most of my aunts and uncles know and still see me as their niece, and I am comfortable with who I am. I feel so ashamed that this is even an issue.

For the most part, I know I am a good person. I know how fortunate I am and I live life to the fullest. I am almost always positive and smiling. I am extremely patient and understanding. I donate my hair, clothes, money, and time whenever I can. I believe in a God who creates out of love and purpose, and that is why I exist.

I am tired of this bull where people condemn me for being a homosexual and not having a religion. Who gave you the Big Guy's job? Be kind, selfless, true, and leave the judging to the pro.

"The love of a family is life's greatest blessing."

I owe these two everything.

They keep me going.